gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize