she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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