I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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