do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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