She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize