he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize