Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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