Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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