Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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