this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
