I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
