you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
