Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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