don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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