your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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