what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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