I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
