I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
