Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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