the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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