I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
