It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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