Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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