why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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