I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
