he wants to bone in the snuggie
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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