he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wish there were birth control emojis
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
