so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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