I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
