I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
