Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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