I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
