I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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