no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
