Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
