if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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