somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
