Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
