I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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