Plan B is the new Plan A
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
