I wanna bring you to show and tell
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
