guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
