i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
