it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
