Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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