How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
