No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
