I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize