Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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