So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
