Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
