Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
