I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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