lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
