In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
