god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
