More tranny stories later!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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