I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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