Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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