Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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