Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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