Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
