butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
