So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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